true-necessary-kind-leadership

3 Questions for Better Leadership – Life

Consideration – The Road Less Traveled?

Consideration – “reflect on, consider, study,” from Latin considerare “to look at closely, observe.

Mom always said to think before you act. Taking the time to reflect on a situation or circumstances or the words or actions we feel compelled to take is a skill that will serve us well as leaders and human beings.

Compel/Compulsion –  from compellere ‘to drive, force.’

“Before you take action or speak, always ask yourself theses 3 questions,” a mentor once said to me.

“Is it true?”

“Is it necessary?”

“Is it kind?”

Great questions to help optimize our interactions with others and to, perhaps, help reduced the amount of regrets we will have in life.

While these may seem like simple questions, in fact, they are not. What is ‘true’?

What’s true for you may not be true for me or others. As leaders, do we get to impose our truth on others or should we seek to broaden our understanding of what is true for others before we speak or act?

What makes something ‘necessary’? Quite often, it seems, that what is necessary has more to do with someone having their way or discharging energy than what a situation requires.

Acting out is a psychological term from the parlance of defense mechanisms and self-control, meaning to perform an action in contrast to bearing and managing the impulse to perform it

When we feel compelled to take action or say something is a great time for self-reflection to better understand what is really driving us.

‘Kindness’ can be tricky as well. Many times the kind thing to say or do may be difficult for us or others – think ‘tough love’. Though a situation may require tough love, the manner in which it is delivered or expressed can come from a place of kindness.

With all that we are learning from brain research and neuroscience about the power of mindfulness, pausing to ask ourselves these three questions creates an opportunity for us to interrupt our habitual patterns of reacting and instead to consider a road less traveled for us.

A coach is a person who not only helps you to improve your capacity for reflection, but is also someone you can bounce things off of before you take action.